Merlin's Beard Daycare
by CahootsToCollege
Summary: What did the parents do during the original OotP?
1. The Beginning

Disclaimer- I own nothing of J.K. Rowling's wonderful work, nor any of Warner Brothers. Yet, the WB did a horrible job portraying Ms. Figg in the movie. (Am I in agreement?)

**The Beginning**

"When I said that I wanted a job that doesn't require magic, I didn't mean babysitting." Ms. Figg swept her arm across her living room, which looked like a bomb had gone off. "How would you like it if you had more than a dozen mini wizards and witches running freely in your house, without having any control over their magic!" She pleadingly looked to James.

"Sorry Figgy, you got yourself into this. It was the best we could do." He said kindly. Her hair was already tinted with grey, after a few more afternoons of this chaos, her whole head would be white. "I promise you, the meeting will not take long, Lily and I will be back soon to pick up Harry. The Weasleys will also come to pick up all of their's along with the Longbottoms and everyone else." Giving the poor woman a friendly pat on the back, he walked out her house.

She stood in the doorway, surveying the warzone. Fred and George were running around the room, screaming for the cats. Ron was still asleep, probably used to his brothers from living with them. Harry and Neville on the other hand, looked pretty fussy while Percy tried to keep his "pesky" brothers from annoying "nice Ms. Figgy". All the others were older, they were being entertained with stories of the famed Deathly Hallows though Bill and Charlie.


	2. Birds and Bubbles

The first offical chapter of Merlin's Beard Daycare! Enjoy.

Ms. Figg had stopped smiling by now. She was busy with the twins, keeping them far away from the curtains that they threatened to tear down if they got near the wispy cat patterned fabric. She meanwhile had threatened to take away their matching teddies. The twins were obviously were at a standstill of what to do, they wanted to wreak havoc, but how could they do that without their cuddly bears. (Of whom were named Gred and Forge). "Geowge, we need a-," Fred stopped whispering, his babysitter's eyes were fixed firmly on him. "Bill's stowy!" He and his twin scurried over to Bill and Charlie. While they looked like they were listening, Figgy could plainly see that more plans were being created in the toddlers' minds.

She didn't have too much time to reflect on what the twins could be planning. Her thoughts were interrupted by loud cries from Neville. She picked him up off his blanket and started cooing and talking calmly to him. Before this ridiculous job, she'd not had too much experience with kids. There were the jobs while she was in school, yet that was years ago, more than what she wanted to think. Her only children were cats, and cats were much different than babies.

Neville's cries continued, "I bet you're hungry little Neville!" She said, trying to stay happy and cheery, his cries were very loud and pitchy. "Let's take a trip to the refridgerator and see what we find!" So, baby in arms, Ms. Figg walked to her kitchen and opened up the door to the fridge. Milk bottles were lined up, with initials marking which baby the bottle was intended for. She picked up a N.L. bottle and walked back to the living room.

Again, the sight that met her was not something she wanted, it seemed that there was a second bomb that had gone off. A bomb, which was created by Fred and George. Figgy knew that young wizards couldn't control their magic until they were at least seven. Yet, she had a sneaking suspicion that they knew she couldn't take their teddies if she was feeding Neville.

"Nasty lot you two are, tricking me like that." She glared at the two, who were enveloped in the curtains. They smiled back at her, then went back at each other laughing and giggling as they tried to trip each other with the long fabric. She looked down at Neville, who was in turn looking serenely up at her. "You'll be no problem when you're older, a nice quiet boy. Eh Neville?"

He kept staring and sucking at the bottle. "Fantastic, I'm talking to babies and trying to keep toddlers under control." She knew that she was going mad and she didn't have her cats to comfort her. For their own safety, she'd locked them up in her room upstairs. The poor things wouldn't know what hit them with babies pulling at their tails and the twins... she didn't even want to think of what would happen to her little dears.

The laughter had since turned to screams of delight, she put down Neville and haphazardly threw his bottle over her shoulder. "Alright, that's it." The woman stood up and towered over the two. "You know, Ms. Figgy wants to be good friends with you two. But she can't do that if you keep acting like Fwoopers, she'll just go insane!" The twins looked at her confused.

"But Ms. Figgy, wha's a Fwooper?" George asked innocently.

"Fantastic, a diversion." The twins gazed expectantly at her. "Well, the story of the Fwooper starts like this..." She told the tale of the African bird, and was appreciative of the two anxiously asking questions about the bird. "Have I told you the story of the wayward wizard who was driven crazy by the call of the bird?" Fred and George shook their heads vigorously.

"Sounds good, how does it go?" George asked. So, again she put on her storytelling voice and talked about the crazy wizard, Percival, who was driven mad by the Fwooper's song and went on to foolishly mingle with trolls. Where he joked about muggles making them out to look like Santa Claus. At the end of the story, the twins rolled on the floor, laughing about poor Percival's fate.

Figg looked to the rest of the children, and they looked back, Charlie and Bill had finished their storytelling as well by this point. "Hmm, now what is it that young wizards and witches like to do?" The kids kept staring. "Art? Or perhaps reading? I can't take you outside, Merlin's beard, all that could happen." Just as she said that, Fred hiccuped and purple bubbles burst out of his mouth. She grimaced as the twins jumped for the bubbles that didn't seem willing to pop. "Fantastic."


	3. Snap Snap Crackle Pop!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! The review box feels loved now. :)

SingingBird812- Thanks so much! I love that saying so I thought it'd be great for Figgy's!

Cicero Williams- Are your problems cleared out now?

loup-garoux- :) I thought so!

Nia- I love this too, thus is why I wrote it. Thank you!

Disclaimer- I own none of the cute kids in this story nor their cat loving sitter.

One last note, text in _italics _are thoughts.

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While Figgy was busy telling the twins about Fwoopers, (A/N- sorry, anyone who doesn't know what a Fwooper is, check HPL!) the older kids were playing a game of exploding snaps. Right as she finished, an especially loud crack went off followed by cheers and laughter from the players. Yet, as soon as the ruckus was at it's loudest, the babies started waking up, crying.

"And James had said that this Harry's nap time, not when he's here obviously." She proceeded to carry Harry upstairs and into her room. After setting his basket down on the floor of her room, she went back for Ron and Neville. They'd already given her a headache so she was glad to give them all nookies to keep them silent. She'd never been one to sing so she was happy when the three had gone back to sleep.

"Before the next blasted Order meeting, I'd better go out and buy a walkie-talkie for between my room and the living-room. Like oil and water, babies and twins don't go together." She smiled at the sleeping wizards and went back downstairs. Sadly, the peace and quiet was left up the steps.

The magical game was starting to get vicious, sparks were flying everywhere, Fred and George were running around the playing table screaming their heads off. In the distance, the doorbell rang. "Merlin's beard, who could that be?" She mumbled, "Alright everyone, stop playing for a moment, someone's at the door. Fred, take that collar off your neck and George, stop annoying your brothers with that kitty toy. Please!"

Figgy walked to the door and opened it. "Hello? Oh." A hopeful looking young man was smiling at her.

"Hello mam, I was wondering if you wanted to help send food to the homeless..." As he went on with his spiel, she realized how rotten her luck was. First of all, she was a Squib, probably the worst luck ever. Because of being non-magical, she got stuck with the kids while the other grown-ups did the important work on the Order. On top of it all, as she watches young kids with unrestrained magic, she gets a charity worker.

Summoning up the nicest attitude she could muster, she asked if he could come back later seeing as she had too much on her plate at the moment. The man went away in a humph, _let's see him try and manage wizards. _She went back to the living-room to the kids who were waiting on her to keep playing. "Alright, he's gone. Come on boys," she said, addressing the twins. "Let's go draw." They followed her up the stairs to the study. Retrieving a couple of drawing books and some crayons they headed back downstairs.

The twins took to drawing with a passion. They started showing each other what they'd drawn. "Here Gowgie, pasty!" Giggling, this went on for a while. Ms. Figg watched the boys from her favorite comfy chair. Some of the drawings were pretty gross with kids being sick all over the place. Then others had to do with kids playing with odd looking frisbees and walking bombs. She decided it was better not to ask.

Since it was getting to be time for the parents to get back, she brought the little ones back from her room and got the twins ready to go. "Do you want to take your drawings with you, or shall I keep them?"

George looked to Fred, "I tink you, mum wouldn't like 'em." Fred nodded, pure words of wisdom.

"Right, well I think I hear them now, off you get."

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Another chapter is up finally! Please give me your thoughts on what you think, how I should improve and what should happen. This fluff might be getting a bit too fluffy!


	4. God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs!

Hello! Finally, a new chapter! Hope this finds you well and puts you into the spirit of the season. 

Disclaimer- I own no cats, no squibs and none of the adorable children, not even their parents! Story used is by Clement Clarke Moore. 

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The flurries wound through the blocks of Privet Drive and all of the surrounding areas. As families scuttled around city sidewalks, finding joy to bring tot their families in the forms of presents. Though, a group of families knew that there was something more important than gift exchanges. The parents knew that staying alive in these desperate times were more important than anything that their muggle counterparts were worrying about for the holidays. Yet, before they worried about dying at the hands of Voldemort, they needed to drop of their children at Mrs. Figg's house.

Mrs. Figg's smile grew larger as each of the children arrived at her house, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. Watching them was one of the few pleasures that the lonely cat lady had in life. She greeted all of the parents, wishing them a Happy Christmas along with the hopes of a Happy New Year, given the situation.

When all of the parents had apparated to Order headquarters, Mrs. Figg sat down to a half dozen wizards in training with spells cascading off the walls haphazardly due to all of the excitement that Christmas's spell had on the world.

Her two favorite charges, though she'd never mention it, were racing around her house shrieking with delight at the thought of having time away from their mother to plan and scheme. "Mz. Figg, it's been too long!" George said, becoming the perfect gentlemen and planting a very wet kiss onto the stunned woman. Fred right away came to her other cheek, wishing to outdo his twin, in the end it was a wet and sticky mess, with laughter towards all sides. "If you boys would stop kissing me for a moment I might go get the plans that you were working on that last time you were over. Would you like that?"

The two redheads smiled angelically up at her, it took all of her willpower to not be swayed by the two ginger haired duo. "Now, as long as you don't use your inordinate cuteness on me so that I do something I regret, you get your papers back." The twins eyes glinted, soon, all that knew the Weasley twins would know this look, yet Ms. Figg was one of the first people outside of the family to have seen it since it started when they were only a week old. "So, promise that you'll keep your Mrs. Figgy out of your crazed plans." The twins looked back up to her, the look of mischievous masked by that of innocence.

"We prowmis." George responded.

"'Onest." Fred finished.

Mrs. Figg had to turn on her heel to keep the twins from seeing the mad grin on her face. No one would ever be able to submarine her, unless they had an identical twin to help.

Among the twin's planning, Figg had found some old records with Christmas songs. She set them into her dusty record player and watched as all of the children began to respond to the music. Some of the older children sheepishly shied away from the others as their apparent non-skill for dancing showed. The younger ones were much more fun to watch. The toddlers skipped to the music, trying to drag their older sisters and brothers into the fun while the others galloped madly, knocking into furniture yet someone managing to avoid the sleeping babies. After the little ones were tired out from dancing Mrs. Figg brought down her favorite Christmas book and began to read. Fred and George slithered into her lap as she began-

"'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there." All looked on with expectant gazes, most knew the story though they were all entranced by her retelling and the magic that the words held.

As the story went on, she watched child after child fall asleep, with each hoping that their own Christmas dreams would come true. Her voice turned to whisper when the twins finally nodded off. "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

Settling the twins gently onto the armchair that she'd been sitting on, she walked to the kitchen to make herself a mug of hot chocolate. Outside, the world had turned into a peaceful snowy wonderland, a world that knew no troubles. As she gazed out the window, she hoped that one day her own world would become this serene, with no mass murderers ruining the serenity that used to be so common in her world.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. It turned out to be Dumbledore, who, after being let in, smiled warmly at all of the sleeping children. "Happy Christmas Arabella." He gave her a small present, wrapped in smooth, silvery paper. "I trust you had a good night with the children? The meeting has just gotten out and the parents should be apparating shortly. We can only hope that soon the parents can be as at ease as their children are." He smiled gently and disapparated on the spot.

Mrs. Figg stood, puzzled by the strange appearance by Dumbledore. She unwrapped the paper, which revealed a silver chain, with small tendril-like charms. Of course this was no ordinary charm bracelet. A card, with Dumbledore's spindly writing revealed that if the bracelet was worn, the charms would shudder in the presence of dark magic. Smiling, she put on the bracelet, glad that someone as important as Albus Dumbledore would remember someone as small as herself when he had a whole war to deal with.

Finally, the parents began appearing, one by one picking up their children. Finally the Weasley clan and the Potter boy were all that were left. James, Lily, Molly and Arthur apparated together so Mrs. Figg invited them in for hot chocolate. They all talked together about Christmas and other happy topics, like the news that Molly was again pregnant. Having finished their drinks, they moved from the kitchen into the living room, stopping to enjoy the children so at peace. The children were awoken and then they left with their parents, leaving Arabella all alone, on Christmas Eve.

She sank down into the arm chair that was just recently vacated by the Weasley twins and sighed. She missed the days when her family wasn't covered in fur. She reminisced to the last holiday that her family had spent together. Yet, her family wasn't truly her's. She'd grown up as an orphan in London, never fully knowing what had happened to her parents. Though she felt that having a family full of other children to play with was always more appealing then having parents and perhaps one or two other siblings. Life seemed simpler, before she was thrust out into the real-world and forced to leave the orphanage when she turned eighteen.

Without all of her friends around her, she'd needed a replacement. Thus she turned to cats. In them she found companions that were there, though she couldn't always see them. In them she found her childhood friends, and had never once longed for human contact. Even when she realized that she was a squib, she kept to herself and her cats. It was not until tonight that she realized how much she was missing.

She sighed and curled up into her chair and reached for the book she'd read to the children and gazed longingly into the image of the quiet chimney full of stockings and to the side a tree full of presents. Chuckling, she thought of how many stockings she'd need if she were to need to put up one for each of her cats.

Smiling, she walked up to her bedroom, letting her cats out of the spare room and went to get ready for bed, then went to dream about a family of her own, including a cheeky set of twins.

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 Hope you all enjoyed, I loved writing this chapter. HAPPY CHRISTMAS IN JULY! Have a good one and wish for more chapters, for you will get them. Enjoy the holiday!


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